3AM

...Ok, not really. But nearly-ish?

Why am I still awake? I spent the evening hanging out with an amazing new friend. (The wife of one of David's best friends.) Though the words "girls' night out" always send a shiver down my spine, I am so glad I went! I cherish the time we had together tonight.

Whilst out, I realized that, as of today, David and I have been together for three months. May I just say: I love him. I was told an unbelievably endearing tale of him tonight. Apparently on the night that we first met he was ecstatic. I fell so much more in love with him after this story. ...Partially because this was how I felt, too.

As much as I don't want to be "that girl," I have to say that I truly never imagined I could love someone so much. How pathetic is it that after only three hours with my new friend I was anxious to get back to my fiance?! I absolutely cannot wait to begin our Life (singular) together. Um...thank you for reading my pathetically mushy rant.

Going To The Chapel

I'm engaged!

In case you hadn't yet heard, David Franklin proposed to me on Thanksgiving Day - in front of both of our families and several close friends. It was such an amazing day, one of the happiest in my life. Immediately after dinner, David stood up and said that he had been talking to his dad recently and he had said that when you really love someone, you can't live without them. And then he turned to me and said, "Emily, my love, I can't live without you anymore." He got down on one knee, and asked if I would marry him. I was so overwhelmed I couldn't do anything but nod yes frantically. And then he gave me a sparkly.

David and I met and began dating on September 11th. We hit it off famously and saw each other several times in the next few weeks. Three weeks in, David had a major motorcycle accident through which God very graciously spared him (us) with only injuries to his hand. This was very frustrating since he is a phenomenal (and I do not say this lightly or with bias) musician, but he worked through it with much grace and strength. Because of these circumstances, however, we spent much more time together than most couples do when first dating and quickly realized that we were more than well suited for one another.

God has been so good to the both of us. He has made it abundantly obvious that we are ordained to be together in this time. We have many mutual friends, worked next door to each other for six months, have crossed paths several times without meeting - until now, the appropriate time. Both of our families are ecstatic, and we have been so thankful for the support and encouragement of our friends. I am so indescribably overjoyed to be writing this! I can't wait to write more...

Every Breath You Take

I sell children's clothing for Nordstrom. Most days I absolutely love my job, and some days..well, it's the best form of birth-control. It's not complex, it's not that difficult, and I meet a lot of really interesting people. On some days, my job is surprising.

This afternoon, a lady whom I would guess to be in her fifties and two children came into my department. Justin was about seven years old and Taylor was probably thirteen. Susan, the older woman with them, was their cousin I later found out. When I walked over to ask them what I could to help them, I was told that they needed to find an outfit for Justin to wear to their father's funeral. I was momentarily stunned, but collected myself quickly. They wanted something nice, but casual. It was a memorial service, they later corrected, and would be a very casual affair. It took much time and effort and thinking on my apartment, but I managed to find the perfect outfit, which he absolutely loved. It was a pair of Lucky jeans and a very cool rocker T-shirt and a black sport coat. Susan informed me that the kids' grandfather had just passed away seven months ago, and Justin wanted to wear the sport coat because his dad had worn a sport coat to his father's funeral just months before. It was all I could do to not break down in tears in the fitting room.

I couldn't stop - can't stop thinking about how calmly these children were handling the memorial service for their father. Their cousin informed me of how he died outside the children's presence, and I learned that they really had no time to prepare for his death. I realized that I literally cannot imagine how I would react if I lost one of my parents. It made me realize, too, how frequently - and selfishly - I take my family and their health for granted. Our life and our time on this earth is so unbelievably precious - and we piss it away like we'll live forever. We go to bed assuming that we'll wake up in the morning, place all our money on next week and not one of us is guaranteed the next hour.

So I go to bed tonight hoping. I hope for tomorrow. I hope for the opportunity to again tell my parents and my brother and sister that I love them. I hope that am constantly reminded that each moment is a gift, and that I treat it accordingly: with thanksgiving, with respect..and with joy.

"And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint..." - Romans 5:3-5

Prayers appreciated

First off, thank you to all of my dear friends who have been praying for me and my family these past two weeks. I cannot begin to tell you how coveted those prayers have been and continue to be.

Two weeks ago began a very concerning and difficult time for my family and I, the details of which I can't really go into. Suffice it to say that we have had to deal with some extremely personal and painful issues. We have been and continue to pray that the entire truth will be revealed so that we will be able to appropriately address the problem areas and begin healing. Continued prayer in this area is greatly appreciated.

I also ask for your prayers for myself. This has been an extremely difficult and emotional time for me. I am seeking out those wiser than me in knowing how to handle this and to begin moving on, but in the meantime am still struggling. I have been very grateful for the support and the distractions that I have been given, the love and care that has been shown to me, the offers of help and prayer. Thank you.

I humbly beg your continued prayer and thank you for being such wonderful and uplifting brothers and sisters in Christ.

Be True To Your School?

I'm at a really weird place in my life. New job, new roommate, new decision. Do I stay in school? I'm reminded of an Eddie Izzard bit, where he asks, "Tell me, what do you want to do with your life?"

All of my family has given me their blessing to stop. See, I've been in college for the last six years now. And no, I still don't have a degree. Life has come at me too fast with too many curve balls, and I've had to take much more time off than I ever thought I would. Car accident, financial struggles, the simple joys of trying to support myself and go to school (not always as possible as some would lead you to believe..), managers who renig on their promises, etc. While I have watch those who graduated high school years after I did graduate from college my frustration has mounted.
I finally voiced this frustration to my Grandma on Mother's Day, when she asked me what I wanted to do*. I think she talked to my parents because shortly thereafter, my Daddy told me that I had their blessing to quit school. My entire life, I had been told that I needed to get a degree because I would need it for my own personal satisfaction/I couldn't get anywhere in life/I would regret it for the rest of my life... Now, my father told me that this was a new era, that school wasn't for everyone, and that they - he and my mother - were proud of me and the opportunities that I already have in front of me.

So what do I do now? I have been in school off and on, as work has allowed, for the last six years this fall. Work and school has been my life..but at that, it's mostly been work. I have a promising career at Nordstrom now, a company which only promotes from within. And I know what, ultimately, my long-term goal is for life. I want to be a housewife. Yes, judge me. My life's dream has always been to eventually be a stay-at-home mommy. For some reason, it's taken me a few years to realize/remember this. And I want to bake. I don't care if it's just for my family, for my friends, or if I have a small little company from my home. I don't know how grand or realistic the latter is, but I know the former is what I want. And I don't need a degree for either of those goals.

So. Where does this put me? I still want to go to college as my work schedule allows me to take language classes (French!). But do I want to do that this semester? Or do I want to have a season completely free of the pressure I had placed on myself for school? I had a co-worker ask
me today what I wanted to be "when I grow up." I looke at her with surprise and thought, I am a grown-up! So maybe that's the key. Maybe I don't need to figure out what to do with the "rest of my life." Maybe I'm already in it.

*PS, please (and I say this in all sincerity) if you are a friend, do not ask me this question for at least another year. I've met my quota and am tired of the looks.

It's Been A While

..Since I posted. I'm sorry. So what's happened in the past..um..over a month?

1) I have a new job! I now work in the Kids Wear department of Nordstrom (at Stonebriar Center). I was officially offered a position on May 12th and have loved every day (um, well, liked) since. I work with awesome people and a great manager. God has truly blessed me by answering this prayer.

2) I traded in my golden locks for auburn! About every three months, I get the urge to do something really different with my hair. So there you go! I went darker in the sumer. I'm such a rebel.

3) Um...there's more, but my mind's gone blank and I'll have to write more later. Anyway, that's a brief update for those (one) of you who wanted another post :coughhypocritcough:.

Hard Day's Night

This has been a rough week, to say the least. I've had ups and downs, been all over the map mentally and emotionally.

Monday, I went for a 'job fair' at the Frisco Nordstrom at 10:00am. By 11:30 I was done, by 5:00pm they called and offered me a position in the Infants & Toddlers department. I, of course, accepted. Praise God for that long-awaited answer to prayer.

That same day, at about 2:00pm, I received a phone call from my friend Jason. Jason's brother, Bradley, had become ill the night before and when he could not stop throwing up, was taken to an urgent care facility Monday morning. Once there, they discovered his creatine level was a 7 (supposed to be 1 or lower), and rushed him to the Emergency Room. Details are still sketchy - we're waiting to hear the results of the autopsy, but I do know that Jason received a call from the doctor who was working on his brother to let him know that his heart had stopped, they were still working on him, but it "didn't look good." Jason, who had been out at my parent's house (he is basically the older brother I never got to have and calls my family "Family Two"), rushed to Love Field to fly home to Houston. At about 3:00, he received a call saying that the doctors had been unable to resuscitate Bradley. He was twenty-seven years old. This has been a week when I've been unsure whether the ridiculous amount of empathy I have is a good thing or bad, as I have felt so much pain and sadness for the Moores and their loss.

The rest of the week was spent in training for the new job, at the NJCAA Men's National Tennis Championship (held at CCCC), at work, or just going crazy. Yesterday morning my mom, sister and I drove down to Houston and made it just in time to check into our hotel and grab some dinner before the viewing. The funeral was today and after the interment and lunch at the church, Daddy, sister and I drove back home.

Most of today has been spent in tears. I passed exhausted days ago and now just want to crawl into bed and stay there for a week. My last day of training tomorrow prevents that from becoming a reality. Ah well. I'm glad for the job, for sure. And I'm preemptively thanking God for the sweet, sweet sleep I'll get when I finish writing this. I ask you to please keep the Moore family in your prayers as they begin this week learning how to live life without their Bradley. Thank you Amanda, Darrell and Denver for checking to see how I was doing this week. Your calls and prayers meant the world over to me. So now I think I'm going to lay my head down on my pillow and sleep till tomorrow is here. I love you.

Good night.