3AM

...Ok, not really. But nearly-ish?

Why am I still awake? I spent the evening hanging out with an amazing new friend. (The wife of one of David's best friends.) Though the words "girls' night out" always send a shiver down my spine, I am so glad I went! I cherish the time we had together tonight.

Whilst out, I realized that, as of today, David and I have been together for three months. May I just say: I love him. I was told an unbelievably endearing tale of him tonight. Apparently on the night that we first met he was ecstatic. I fell so much more in love with him after this story. ...Partially because this was how I felt, too.

As much as I don't want to be "that girl," I have to say that I truly never imagined I could love someone so much. How pathetic is it that after only three hours with my new friend I was anxious to get back to my fiance?! I absolutely cannot wait to begin our Life (singular) together. Um...thank you for reading my pathetically mushy rant.

Going To The Chapel

I'm engaged!

In case you hadn't yet heard, David Franklin proposed to me on Thanksgiving Day - in front of both of our families and several close friends. It was such an amazing day, one of the happiest in my life. Immediately after dinner, David stood up and said that he had been talking to his dad recently and he had said that when you really love someone, you can't live without them. And then he turned to me and said, "Emily, my love, I can't live without you anymore." He got down on one knee, and asked if I would marry him. I was so overwhelmed I couldn't do anything but nod yes frantically. And then he gave me a sparkly.

David and I met and began dating on September 11th. We hit it off famously and saw each other several times in the next few weeks. Three weeks in, David had a major motorcycle accident through which God very graciously spared him (us) with only injuries to his hand. This was very frustrating since he is a phenomenal (and I do not say this lightly or with bias) musician, but he worked through it with much grace and strength. Because of these circumstances, however, we spent much more time together than most couples do when first dating and quickly realized that we were more than well suited for one another.

God has been so good to the both of us. He has made it abundantly obvious that we are ordained to be together in this time. We have many mutual friends, worked next door to each other for six months, have crossed paths several times without meeting - until now, the appropriate time. Both of our families are ecstatic, and we have been so thankful for the support and encouragement of our friends. I am so indescribably overjoyed to be writing this! I can't wait to write more...

Every Breath You Take

I sell children's clothing for Nordstrom. Most days I absolutely love my job, and some days..well, it's the best form of birth-control. It's not complex, it's not that difficult, and I meet a lot of really interesting people. On some days, my job is surprising.

This afternoon, a lady whom I would guess to be in her fifties and two children came into my department. Justin was about seven years old and Taylor was probably thirteen. Susan, the older woman with them, was their cousin I later found out. When I walked over to ask them what I could to help them, I was told that they needed to find an outfit for Justin to wear to their father's funeral. I was momentarily stunned, but collected myself quickly. They wanted something nice, but casual. It was a memorial service, they later corrected, and would be a very casual affair. It took much time and effort and thinking on my apartment, but I managed to find the perfect outfit, which he absolutely loved. It was a pair of Lucky jeans and a very cool rocker T-shirt and a black sport coat. Susan informed me that the kids' grandfather had just passed away seven months ago, and Justin wanted to wear the sport coat because his dad had worn a sport coat to his father's funeral just months before. It was all I could do to not break down in tears in the fitting room.

I couldn't stop - can't stop thinking about how calmly these children were handling the memorial service for their father. Their cousin informed me of how he died outside the children's presence, and I learned that they really had no time to prepare for his death. I realized that I literally cannot imagine how I would react if I lost one of my parents. It made me realize, too, how frequently - and selfishly - I take my family and their health for granted. Our life and our time on this earth is so unbelievably precious - and we piss it away like we'll live forever. We go to bed assuming that we'll wake up in the morning, place all our money on next week and not one of us is guaranteed the next hour.

So I go to bed tonight hoping. I hope for tomorrow. I hope for the opportunity to again tell my parents and my brother and sister that I love them. I hope that am constantly reminded that each moment is a gift, and that I treat it accordingly: with thanksgiving, with respect..and with joy.

"And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint..." - Romans 5:3-5

Prayers appreciated

First off, thank you to all of my dear friends who have been praying for me and my family these past two weeks. I cannot begin to tell you how coveted those prayers have been and continue to be.

Two weeks ago began a very concerning and difficult time for my family and I, the details of which I can't really go into. Suffice it to say that we have had to deal with some extremely personal and painful issues. We have been and continue to pray that the entire truth will be revealed so that we will be able to appropriately address the problem areas and begin healing. Continued prayer in this area is greatly appreciated.

I also ask for your prayers for myself. This has been an extremely difficult and emotional time for me. I am seeking out those wiser than me in knowing how to handle this and to begin moving on, but in the meantime am still struggling. I have been very grateful for the support and the distractions that I have been given, the love and care that has been shown to me, the offers of help and prayer. Thank you.

I humbly beg your continued prayer and thank you for being such wonderful and uplifting brothers and sisters in Christ.

Be True To Your School?

I'm at a really weird place in my life. New job, new roommate, new decision. Do I stay in school? I'm reminded of an Eddie Izzard bit, where he asks, "Tell me, what do you want to do with your life?"

All of my family has given me their blessing to stop. See, I've been in college for the last six years now. And no, I still don't have a degree. Life has come at me too fast with too many curve balls, and I've had to take much more time off than I ever thought I would. Car accident, financial struggles, the simple joys of trying to support myself and go to school (not always as possible as some would lead you to believe..), managers who renig on their promises, etc. While I have watch those who graduated high school years after I did graduate from college my frustration has mounted.
I finally voiced this frustration to my Grandma on Mother's Day, when she asked me what I wanted to do*. I think she talked to my parents because shortly thereafter, my Daddy told me that I had their blessing to quit school. My entire life, I had been told that I needed to get a degree because I would need it for my own personal satisfaction/I couldn't get anywhere in life/I would regret it for the rest of my life... Now, my father told me that this was a new era, that school wasn't for everyone, and that they - he and my mother - were proud of me and the opportunities that I already have in front of me.

So what do I do now? I have been in school off and on, as work has allowed, for the last six years this fall. Work and school has been my life..but at that, it's mostly been work. I have a promising career at Nordstrom now, a company which only promotes from within. And I know what, ultimately, my long-term goal is for life. I want to be a housewife. Yes, judge me. My life's dream has always been to eventually be a stay-at-home mommy. For some reason, it's taken me a few years to realize/remember this. And I want to bake. I don't care if it's just for my family, for my friends, or if I have a small little company from my home. I don't know how grand or realistic the latter is, but I know the former is what I want. And I don't need a degree for either of those goals.

So. Where does this put me? I still want to go to college as my work schedule allows me to take language classes (French!). But do I want to do that this semester? Or do I want to have a season completely free of the pressure I had placed on myself for school? I had a co-worker ask
me today what I wanted to be "when I grow up." I looke at her with surprise and thought, I am a grown-up! So maybe that's the key. Maybe I don't need to figure out what to do with the "rest of my life." Maybe I'm already in it.

*PS, please (and I say this in all sincerity) if you are a friend, do not ask me this question for at least another year. I've met my quota and am tired of the looks.

It's Been A While

..Since I posted. I'm sorry. So what's happened in the past..um..over a month?

1) I have a new job! I now work in the Kids Wear department of Nordstrom (at Stonebriar Center). I was officially offered a position on May 12th and have loved every day (um, well, liked) since. I work with awesome people and a great manager. God has truly blessed me by answering this prayer.

2) I traded in my golden locks for auburn! About every three months, I get the urge to do something really different with my hair. So there you go! I went darker in the sumer. I'm such a rebel.

3) Um...there's more, but my mind's gone blank and I'll have to write more later. Anyway, that's a brief update for those (one) of you who wanted another post :coughhypocritcough:.

Hard Day's Night

This has been a rough week, to say the least. I've had ups and downs, been all over the map mentally and emotionally.

Monday, I went for a 'job fair' at the Frisco Nordstrom at 10:00am. By 11:30 I was done, by 5:00pm they called and offered me a position in the Infants & Toddlers department. I, of course, accepted. Praise God for that long-awaited answer to prayer.

That same day, at about 2:00pm, I received a phone call from my friend Jason. Jason's brother, Bradley, had become ill the night before and when he could not stop throwing up, was taken to an urgent care facility Monday morning. Once there, they discovered his creatine level was a 7 (supposed to be 1 or lower), and rushed him to the Emergency Room. Details are still sketchy - we're waiting to hear the results of the autopsy, but I do know that Jason received a call from the doctor who was working on his brother to let him know that his heart had stopped, they were still working on him, but it "didn't look good." Jason, who had been out at my parent's house (he is basically the older brother I never got to have and calls my family "Family Two"), rushed to Love Field to fly home to Houston. At about 3:00, he received a call saying that the doctors had been unable to resuscitate Bradley. He was twenty-seven years old. This has been a week when I've been unsure whether the ridiculous amount of empathy I have is a good thing or bad, as I have felt so much pain and sadness for the Moores and their loss.

The rest of the week was spent in training for the new job, at the NJCAA Men's National Tennis Championship (held at CCCC), at work, or just going crazy. Yesterday morning my mom, sister and I drove down to Houston and made it just in time to check into our hotel and grab some dinner before the viewing. The funeral was today and after the interment and lunch at the church, Daddy, sister and I drove back home.

Most of today has been spent in tears. I passed exhausted days ago and now just want to crawl into bed and stay there for a week. My last day of training tomorrow prevents that from becoming a reality. Ah well. I'm glad for the job, for sure. And I'm preemptively thanking God for the sweet, sweet sleep I'll get when I finish writing this. I ask you to please keep the Moore family in your prayers as they begin this week learning how to live life without their Bradley. Thank you Amanda, Darrell and Denver for checking to see how I was doing this week. Your calls and prayers meant the world over to me. So now I think I'm going to lay my head down on my pillow and sleep till tomorrow is here. I love you.

Good night.

Your Song

I want to be able to write all that I'm feeling and have been experiencing these past weeks, but I think instead I'll just give you the lyrics to four songs that have become my own story.

A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out
From The Inside Out, Joel Houston

------------------------

I once was fatherless,
A stranger with no hope;
Your kindness wakened me,
Awakened me, from my sleep
Your love it beckons deeply,
A call to come and die.
By grace now I will come
And take this life, take Your life.

Sin has lost it's power,
Death has lost it's sting.
From the grave you've risen
Victoriously!

Into marvelous light I'm running,
Out of darkness, out of shame.
By the cross You are the truth,
You are the life,
You are the way

My dead heart now is beating,
My deepest stains now clean.
Your breath fills up my lungs.
Now I'm free. Now I'm free!

Sin has lost it's power,
Death has lost it's sting.
From the grave you've risen
Victoriously!

Into marvelous light I'm running,
Out of darkness, out of shame.
By the cross you are the truth,
You are the life,
You are the way
Marvelous Light, Charlie Hall

----------------------

Woe to me I am unclean
A sinner found in Your presence
I see you seated on Your throne
Exalted, Your Glory surrounds You

Now the plans that I have made
Fail to compare when I see your glory

Ruin my life the plans I have made
Ruin desires for my own selfish gain
Destroy the idols that have taken Your place'
Till its You alone I live for,
You alone I live for.

Holy Holy is the Lord Almighty
Holy is the Lord!
Holy Holy is the Lord Almighty
Holy is the Lord!

Ruin my life the plans I have made
Ruin desires for my own selfish gain
Destroy the idols that have taken Your place
'Till its You alone I live for,
You alone I live for.
Ruin Me, Jeff Johnson

--------------------

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone

I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on
I'm Moving On, Rascal Flatts

Drained

I want to blog, to write all of my thoughts out and help you to understand all that has been going on in my life these past days...But I find that when I try I cannot. I haven't the words, nor the clarity to sort out the thoughts wrestling one another, each fighting to be foremost inside my head.

I am clinging to one verse right now: "We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed" - 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 Lord, help me to own this.

Please pray for me.

All I Have To Do Is Dream

Have you ever had a dream that threw off the rest of your day? I did last night.

I had a dream with my Grandpa in it. I've only had about three of them since he died of Parkinson's three years ago. They've ranged from ok to not so great - this one was horrible. He was dying all over again; thin, suffering, an old and withered shadow of the great man he used to be. My Grandma was trying to get me to spend time with him again, but this time it was because she didn't want to be there. In my dream, my Grandpa was dying and my Grandma didn't want to deal with it anymore.
In my dream, I was sitting by his bed, holding his hand and he grabbed one of my fingers. It was all he could do. And now, in my waking, it's like I'm going through it all over again. Sitting by his bed, watching him, willing him to move, to speak, to open his eyes, to respond. I'm reading to him, singing to him, talking to him, wondering all the time if he really does hear. I'm telling him that he can let go - hating myself all the time - that he doesn't have to keep his promise anymore and that I love him. The sitting, the praying, the waiting - waiting for God to let my Grandpa to die.

I miss him so very much. I miss his laugh, I miss his hugs, I miss the way his calloused fingers felt holding my hand. I miss the smell of his shirts, I miss walking the beach looking for seashells, I miss being greeted with a loud "Hullo, Emily!" It hurts. Three years later, it still hurts. It still sucks that he's gone, still sucks that he had to suffer, still sucks that my Grandma is now alone, just...sucks. And it still doesn't make sense. I still have the images clear as the day they happened of his body lying in the bed the morning he finally went home to God, of the crowded waiting room before the funeral, of the casket at the interment when I finally realized that my Grandpa was never coming back. Most clearly, though, I remember sitting in my grandparents' bedroom on the floor, facing their bed and just thinking how wrong it all was. The house was never supposed to be empty, my Grandma was never supposed to be alone. He was never supposed to leave us. He promised me.

I'm jealous of those who can cry and still look pretty. I know that right now my face is red and puffy, but that's ok. Because in a short time, I'll look fine again and I'll continue to live my life as I normally do. In a little while I'll go to bed and dream new dreams that will not have my Grandpa in them. Life tomorrow will begin anew. My Grandpa will still be gone, and it will still suck - some days more than others - and I will still be waiting for the day when I am taken up to heaven and will see him crouched down again, waiting with a big hug and a "Hullo, Emily!"

My Favorite Things..

Now include . I stopped in today on a wonderful tip from a new cookbook. Wanna see the treasures I found?

These lovelies allow you to ice with perfect detail! Just stick them in hot water for five minutes, snip off the tip and ice to your heart's content! They look beautiful and taste fantastic, too!

Oh-so-pretty sprinkles. For cupcakes that look like they've been dusted with sparkles.

I really want to become a professional cake-decorator; can you tell? I can't wait to upload pictures of my finished product....

What A Beautiful Day

Check out Darrell's blog to see how my fantastic day went down.

Darrell surprised me by taking me to the Inwood - awesome!

He made me.

Having so much fun at the Nasher.

He has fantastic ideas!

Love it.

We're pretty much ridiculous.



Back at my place...doing nonsensical things..









Funny story...I don't think he knew I was trying to bite the finger that was in my face.

Love Song

God sang me a Love song tonight.

I got my hair cut this morning (yay!) after my mile-long skate as soon as I woke up (baaad idea, I felt ill when I finally collapsed on my couch at home again). I got to relax for a bit before heading out to church, where it is my weekend to serve on the A/V team. Turns out that I wasn't sent the email that told me I didn't have to be there until 3:30, instead of the normal 2:30. With the extra hour I had time to just sit in the sanctuary, while Lee set up the sound, and journal and pray. I'll be honest - it was the first time in a long time that I was just...still.

When it was finally time to start practicing, I made my way up to the sound booth and then noticed the set list for the weekend. It was the first acoustic set we've had since I started attending two and a half years ago, I think. Among the five songs Bleecker chose to sing were my two absolute favorite songs: You Are The Light and Before The Throne. And just in case that wasn't enough to get my attention, God had one more trick up His sleeve to stir my heart. We had a guest guitar player (for the acoustic set), and, while going through the sound check, he just started playing. The song was gorgeous, and sounded a lot like the music from August Rush. And all of a sudden, a Voice whispered to me, This is for you. This song is for you. I was overcome with Love, peace and tears as my Savior showed me how much He loves me. My favorite songs, a beautiful guitar piece and the peaceful setting of the church.

As I sit in my living room now, sipping my glass of wine and watching Justin Chambers propose to Jennifer Lopez in the background, I am still overcome with an overwhelmingly peaceful joy. My God loves me. He is not a distant stranger Who does not know my name, but a doting Father who wants to protect me and display His Love and Grace.

Not to us,
Not to us,
But to Your Name
Jesus
Be all glory,
Be all honor
To your Name,
Forever

I Hate That I Love You

It's odd to hear birds chirping outside at this hour. It's odd to be awake at this hour on that note..

The opposite of Love isn't hate; it's apathy. Hate requires a level of effort that you would only devote to something you truly care about. My Daddy told me this many times growing up. I think he is a very wise man.

Stay Awake?

Wide awake though sleep-deprived..Listening to the rain outside my window.

I've decided someone must have prayed for me to learn patience. If I find out who it is, I will most assuredly punch them in the face.

He Rose

He rose,
Jesus, He rose
My life's been forgiven
This world holds no bounds
He rose,
Jesus, He rose
My life's been redeemed,
This prisoner set free
Death, where's your sting?
'Cause He rose...
- Jeff Johnson "He Rose"

So beautiful, so true, so stuck in my head for the past six hours. So many random thoughts going through my head right now...

• The Friends episode where Joey loses an eyebrow is one of my favorites. "It's like a baby caterpillar chasing its momma!"
• I hate when I go to the grocery store and get home just to realize that I should have checked for, say, sugar. Gr!
• I ♥ Steven Wonder.
• I can't decide if I'm going to grow my hair out for the first time in a while...or keep it short. Help?
• This winter had been refreakingdiculous. Don't get me wrong, I love 72-degree weather and I absolutely love snow. I just can't take both twice in the same week! Texas SUCKS. Not gonna lie, though. I think it's totally cool that God seems to have said, "No, I haven't forgotten your snow. Here it is!" How fantastic is a God that created snow because He knows how much I'd love it! Give me winter, or give me death!
• Monday night, I met two of the coolest little boys! Braxton was three and MacGuire ("Mac") was nine months. SO cute!
• I want to go to the aquarium.
• I think watching the stars from the roof of the Orange House is one of my new favorite things to do. 'Tis fantabulous. But only with certain people...
• I am totally freaking stoked about this Friday.

Aren't you glad I shared?

The Ride

First off, I love Amanda. The time we spend together is always a blessing and a joy to my heart. I was talking to her on the phone yesterday, and something she said really struck me. She and I are both going through very interesting (and often difficult) times in our lives right now. We've both been faced with decisions, joy and unexpected change.

Regarding one of the changes (unfortunately unpleasant), Amanda said she felt like she was on her favorite roller coaster. She said that she would always get on the ride with great anticipation which would quickly change to dread as soon as it began. As soon as the cars began to move, she would panic and wonder, What have I done? I should never have gotten on this! A knot in her stomach, a scream rising in her throat, the ride would take off. The rush, the movement, the unexpected turns and twists, the drops, the peaks, going forward and then backward. And then it was over and she was back on solid ground. Her heart racing, she wanted to do it all over again.

How much like life is this? We make a decision and suddenly we're swept off our feet, rushing forward or backward, up and then down, going straight or weaving, not knowing what comes next. And then it's over and we can step back and look at where we are. We decide that it was one of the most unintelligent things we've ever done, that the terror of it all simply was not worth it; or we decide that it was the greatest decision we ever made and that the temporary fear was greatly outweighed by the final joy. Or maybe our breath is so taken away that we need some time to understand what just happened and decide whether or not we enjoyed it.

As I look at my life, I'm unsure what kind of ride I've had so far. Twists and turns, highs and lows, reaching a peak and having just seconds to catch my breath and see what lies below. Have I spent more time going backward or forward - and which has been more productive? Have I ridden with my eyes shut tight or tried to see what was coming and what has passed and tried to comprehend both? I don't know the answers to these questions. I do know that the best part of this ride is still to come. I have so many decisions facing me now and still ahead of me, decisions that will shape and change my life forever. And so I brace myself, and hold my breath...and do my best to enjoy the ride while it lasts.

J-O-Y

I think too often I base my attitude on circumstance. Too often, I let the finite and temporary effect my mood or outlook. Why do I do this?

Last week, for example, was a roller coaster of emotion. I got good news, then bad; something given to me, then something taken away; fun new memories made and painful memories recalled. Throughout, I should have been joyful, but I am sad to say I wasn't. It was as basing my mood upon the wind.

Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say

It is well, it is well with my soul.

Where are these words in the throws of my sadness? Where are they in my joy, for that matter? Why do I only focus on them in the times that it's convenient for me?

This week has been fantastic so far. I have been doing well at school; work is fine; I have had the immense privilege of spending time with an absolutely amazing friend. But if that all changes tomorrow, will I still remember that my God is in control? Will I praise Him no matter what, or will I question His judgement? I wish I had more answers than questions. I wish I could, in all faith and honesty, promise you that right now begins a change. But that's between my heart and God, isn't it? I hope that this begins something new. I pray that this is a turning point. I can tell you that I will definitely be seeking God in the coming days and weeks like I haven't been in past months.

Blessed be Your name

When the sun's shinging down on me

When the world's "all as it should be"

Blessed be Your name

And blessed be Your name

On the road marked with suffering

Though there's pain in the offering

Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out

I'll turn back to praise

And when the darkness closes in, Lord

Still I will say...

Blessed be Your name.

All You Need Is Love

What most would call coincidence began a conversation last night that I hope to never forget. I walked by Josh, the Village's custodian, who pointed at me with his huge grin and then started laughing. "I have had that song stuck in my head all day," he said, pointing to my all we need is love t-shirt. "I can't believe it! And it's so true! All we really need is Love."
Josh then proceded to tell me a strange series of events from his week, which at first seemed completely unrelated. Taking flowers to his wife at work, his friend Alex's help, Mariah Carey's Always Be My Baby heard on the radio. The simple words on my shirt were a credo he'd decided to try to live out this past week, and a song that he'd been singing all about the church as he cleaned. Alex walked in and joined me in listening just as Josh was telling me about him. I'd been humming Mariah Carey's song since Wednesday when Andy played it at Joe's. Funny coincidence. I was completely intrigued and absorbed in Josh's tale filled with rabbit trails and non-sequitors.

About mid-narrative, Josh was relating his experiences in a tense seminary classroom and explained that he always picked up other's tension. He'd been told it was a 'gift' but seemed slightly less than excited about it. I could relate, and explained that whenever someone around me cries, I cry. It's a wonderful 'gift', I sarcastically told them. "Jesus cried." He said it so matter-of-factly, but I'd heard it so many times before that I blew it off at first.
"I cry at Disney movies," I laughed. "I'm talking Ice Age when the tiger died! I teared up! And it's a Disney movie, ok? I should've realized they're not going to off a main character and yet I cried."
"But Jesus cried too! He cried when He was on his way to see Lazarus," Josh said getting excited. "Jesus was going to see Lazarus, and He knew He was about to raise the guy from the dead! And He still cried!"
I'd never thought of it like that before. I'd heard many times that "Jesus wept." Shortest verse in the Bible, right? (If you grew up in a Southern Baptist church, you knew that and tried to use it to cheat several times.) But I'd never understood it the way Josh did. You see, Josh had no idea that the last few months have been filled with a constant struggle to allow myself to be emotional. Since my childhood, I have fought desperately, even prayed to make my heart numb. I've never shared this publicly before. I think those who know me well know that I have huge passion and genuine care for all whom God has placed in my life, and it was never in this area that I struggled; I have always cherished the heart God gave me for others. It was my own pain and personal heartache that I wished to never feel. A common emotion, I'm sure but I' had taken it to extremes in recent years. I had become solely analytical in matters of my own heart and did not even realize it until someone helped me to see it two months ago.
Josh did not know this, could not know this, could not know the impact a simple aside in his tale would have on me. A simple 'coincidence' and I walked out with a completely different thought pattern.

Love, love, love.
Love, love, love.
Love, love, love.

There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game.
It's easy.

Nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time.
It's easy.

All you need is love.
All you need is love.
All you need is love, love.
Love is all you need.

All you need is love.
All you need is love.
All you need is love, love.
Love is all you need.

Nothing you can know that isn't known.
Nothing you can see that isn't shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.
It's easy.All you need is love.

All you need is love.
All you need is love, love.
Love is all you need.
All you need is love

All you need is love.
All you need is love, love.
Love is all you need (love is all you need).